20 Hilarious Rules Parents Never Thought They’d Have To Make

Proof that nothing can prepare you for kids.

People always warn you that having kids changes everything. You nod and smile and think, "It can't be THAT bad, can it?" Truth is, parenting is a crazier ride than anyone can begin to explain. Teaching tiny humans how to human is seriously a challenge.

Please.

Be careful!

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Working Mother

Her name is not Simba.

Photo: Whisper

Badger?!

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Working Mother

I'd be more concerned with the badger biting back.

Photo: Whisper

Yum, wax!

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Working Mother

They don't taste as good as they smell.

Photo: Whisper

shudder

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Working Mother

Every single time.

Photo: Whisper

Hospital visit incoming?

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Working Mother

One is more than enough.

Photo: Whisper

Stick to coloring with them.

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Working Mother

Same with colored pencils.

Photo: Whisper

Poor dog.

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Working Mother

Oh no …

Photo: Whisper

That sounds dangerous.

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Working Mother

And don't run with them either!

Photo: Whisper

WTF.

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Working Mother

I don't even want to know why.

Photo: Whisper

Tongue splinters, yikes.

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Working Mother

Ouch.

Photo: Whisper

What sort of unholy combination …

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Working Mother

That's just wrong.

Photo: Whisper

All these poor pets …

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Working Mother

They prefer the water.

Photo: Whisper

Why you don't let little kids watch horror movies. They'll get inspired.

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Working Mother

It might be time to call a priest.

Photo: Whisper

But … why?

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Working Mother

Eating it is way more fun.

Photo: Whisper

Godspeed, slug.

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Working Mother

Leave that little guy alone!

Photo: Whisper

CHOMP!

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Working Mother

Noses are not food.

Photo: Whisper

At least they were polite enough to give a warning!

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Working Mother

Especially in public.

Photo: Whisper

facepalm

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Working Mother

Definitely not.

Photo: Whisper

This isn't Game of Thrones.

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Working Mother

That won't fly in the real world.

Photo: Whisper

Written by Whisper for Working Mother and legally licensed through the Matcha publisher network. Please direct all licensing questions to legal@getmatcha.com.

Featured image provided by Working Mother